If teams have a high capacity for conflict, this leads to a deep relationship of trust.
One reason for the high conflict ability is that there are hardly any personal trigger points that could lead to a conflict on the factual level being projected onto the relationship level.
On the contrary: the underlying cause of the conflict is recognised by the members in a non-judgemental way and resolved using the available resources in the interests of the common objective.
What are the causes of personal trigger points?
The causes of personal trigger points, which in the worst-case scenario make us react so emotionally that only our reptilian brain (attack, play dead, flee) functions, are blocking beliefs. These beliefs ensure that we develop tunnel vision and relate what has happened to ourselves.
Example of a blocking belief and the resulting trigger points
Ina has the belief: "I'm not good enough."
This was activated in her childhood by her parents, who expected Ina to do very well at school. A grade 2 was too low, it had to be a 1. If Ina didn't bring home an A, this was recognised with a withdrawal of love. The parents had no time for her and joint activities until Ina had not learnt enough and the result of her learning was another A.
In her current role as Product Owner, Ina is part of an agilely organised team. Her task is to define the requirements for a product, if necessary in cooperation with the customer, and to communicate these to the development team. Ina tracks the development progress and also ensures that the requirements for the product are changed if necessary.
Conflict situation:
The development team has not realised everything that was planned for the current sprint. The service was not provided. Ina's expectations were not met. (Factual level of the conflict)
Trigger point and resulting behaviours:
Because of Ina's belief system, she is triggered: I have not done everything that is necessary for the team to work well. This can trigger various behaviours:
- Ina works even harder to describe what she wants in even more detail.
- Ina has more control over the team by getting more involved in the team's work.
- Ina sees this behaviour as a devaluation of her personality and feels put down by the team: "I'm not worthy of anyone's commitment to me." This means that the conflict is at the relationship level and can no longer be resolved objectively. Trust cannot develop. A spiral of conflict begins.
How can personal trigger points be resolved?
Personal trigger points are released by transforming blocking beliefs.
Examples of blocking beliefs:
- I am not worthy of being loved.
- I must not make any mistakes.
- I have to work.
- I'm not allowed to show my face.
- I have to be nice.
- I am not seen.
- I am not heard.
- I do everything wrong.
- I must not trust.
It is important that for every victim belief, the corresponding perpetrator belief is also transformed in order to achieve a lasting resolution of this personality pattern.
Let's take a look at the example of Ina.
Example of a related opera and offender belief sentence
- Sacrificial belief: I am not good enough.
- Perpetrator belief: I have to control others.
How can you as a manager support your team in resolving personal triggers?
To support the individual team members and, if necessary, themselves in releasing the trigger points, I recommend a seven-step procedure:
- Identification of blocking beliefs by each team member
- Visualisation of these beliefs in a joint team map
- Identification of the behaviours that prevail in the team as a result
- Identification of the behaviours that most strongly hinder trusting and constructive cooperation
- Emphasising the associated beliefs
- Individual coaching of team members in relation to the transformation of these beliefs
- Derivation of new behaviours
The more blocking beliefs each team member releases, the greater their ability to deal with conflict. The greater the individual's ability to deal with conflict, the more trusting the work in the team and the more the potential of the entire team can gain presence.
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