Conversation management
Actually, you should. What softeners reveal about our personality.
From Sabine Walter, Head of netzwerk managementberatung | coaching
Occasionally you should read this article, because you might take away an impulse. One sentence, four softeners: occasionally, should, sometimes, maybe. This softened language has become an integral part of our daily communication - professionally and privately. Unfortunately. Because it lacks four things: Clarity, commitment, self-confidence and self-assurance.
Language is an expression of our feelings - even unconscious ones. Our language therefore reveals a lot about our state of mind and our personality.
Tips for clear, authoritative language
How do you find your way back to clear and authoritative language? You can read concrete tips below:
- In the coming weeks, pay attention to the situations in which you use softeners.
- Find out why you are doing this. Are you uncomfortable bringing up the subject? Do you want to be extra polite? Are you unconsciously making yourself smaller because you think it is not your place to make the suggestion? Are you afraid of the other person's reaction because you confuse clarity with toughness? Is the issue you are raising not important to you?
- The answer to the question shows what was missing in the situation: Clarity, commitment, self-awareness or self-confidence.
Think about who will help you develop these areas of your personality. The result of this further development is automatically a clear language without softeners.
As a first step, these rhetorical tips will help you to communicate more clearly and authoritatively:
- Replace the word "would" with "will".
- Use "please" and "thank you" instead of "actually" and "maybe" for polite communication.
- Designate clear responsibilities and address those responsible directly. This saves the word "one".
- Communicate concrete deadlines by which things will be done.
Communication without softeners creates clarity and commitment. Both contribute to creating trust. And trust is the foundation of every success.
